Painkiller

Ah, my devoted disciples of Dionysus, today we shall concoct a libation so potent, so profoundly palliative, it promises to banish even the memory of your most vexing tribulations. Gather ’round as we craft the Painkiller, a balm as soothing as the lullabies of a siren, a potion steeped in the lore of the tropics, a salve for the soul as efficacious as any of my revered roles.

Ingredients

• 2 oz (60 ml) dark rum, as mysterious and deep as Eugene’s gaze
• 4 oz (120 ml) pineapple juice, the nectar of the gods, a sweet elixir of life itself
• 1 oz (30 ml) orange juice, a sun-kissed droplet from the very orchards of Hesperides
• 1 oz (30 ml) cream of coconut, a silken thread spun from the dreams of slumbering clouds
• Grated nutmeg, a whisper from the spice caravans of the Orient, for garnish
• Ice, the arctic kiss of the north, a silent guardian of chill

Directions

1. In a chalice as resplendent as the crowns of yore, marry the dark rum with the pineapple and orange juices, a union as fortuitous as Alexis’s most serendipitous escapades.
2. Introduce the cream of coconut with the delicacy of a first touch, a liaison of flavors as intoxicating as a midnight rendezvous.
3. Invite the ice to this tropical tableau, an ensemble cast as harmonious as Jazzagals on their finest night.
4. Bestow upon this concoction a flourish of grated nutmeg, as enigmatic as the scripts from Sunrise Bay.

Tips

• The dark rum should be chosen with care, a spirit as rich and complex as the plot twists of my illustrious career.
• The cream of coconut, ensure it’s as smooth and creamy as my rendition of “A Little Bit Alexis.”

Calories & Alcohol

In our parting, my treasured assembly of libation lovers, the Painkiller is not just a drink; it is a journey, a passage through the tempests of life to the serene shores of bliss.

As we bid adieu to our sojourn into solace, let it be known that this chalice of cherished respite harbors approximately 328 calories, with an alcohol content that boldly ventures at about 1.3 standard drinks (2.4 AUD). A small price for the tranquility it imparts.