Long Island Iced Tea

Ah, my cherished tapestry of epicurean adventurers, today we dare to decipher the enigmatic potion known as the Long Island Iced Tea. A concoction so audaciously laden with spirits, it whispers tales of prohibition’s end, a libation that scoffs at the mere suggestion of moderation.

Ingredients

• 1/2 oz (15 ml) vodka, as clear and sharp as Alexis’s wit
• 1/2 oz (15 ml) tequila, as spirited and fiery as David’s glare
• 1/2 oz (15 ml) rum, as smooth and complex as Johnny’s business acumen
• 1/2 oz (15 ml) gin, as refined and botanical as my own eclectic essence
• 1/2 oz (15 ml) triple sec, the citrus whisper tying our spirits together
• 1 oz (30 ml) lemon juice, the acidic bite to cut through the sweetness
• 1/2 oz (15 ml) simple syrup, a sugared veil to soften the spirits’ bravado
• A splash of cola, to color our concoction with the illusion of innocence
• Lemon twist, for garnish, a curl of zest to mirror our own twisted paths

Directions

1. In a vessel as tall and mysterious as Roland’s tales, combine the vodka, tequila, rum, gin, and triple sec, as if gathering a coterie of spirits for a grand soiree.
2. To this spirited assembly, add the lemon juice and simple syrup, the sweet and sour serenade to our senses.
3. Fill the glass with ice, as cold and unyielding as the Rose family’s resolve.
4. Top with a splash of cola, dark as the secrets of Schitt’s Creek, to achieve the classic tea-like hue.
5. Garnish with a lemon twist, a final flourish, a nod to the elegance amidst chaos.

Tips

• The balance of power lies in equal parts, a democratic distribution of spirits to ensure no one voice overpowers the chorus.
• The cola, though but a splash, is the curtain call, transforming this spirited ensemble into the illusion of genteel tea.

Calories & Alcohol

In our grand finale, my dear connoisseurs, the Long Island Iced Tea is not merely a cocktail; it is a bold symphony, a rebellious march against the mundane, a testament to the intoxicating complexity of life itself.

As we bid adieu to our spirited odyssey, be forewarned that this vessel of vice harbors approximately 222 calories, with an alcohol content that pirouettes daringly at about 1.9 standard drinks (2.9 AUD). A modest toll for a journey so wildly indulgent.